The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
