I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
