I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
