woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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