It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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