i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
