it's like her boobs came off with her bra
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
