i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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