Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
