i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
