Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
