All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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