I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
