remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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