Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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