I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
