i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
