Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize