Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
