i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
