i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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