I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
