Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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