It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
