So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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