Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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