Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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