I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
