Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
