If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
