margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize