Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
