you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
