sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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