He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
