she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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