I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
