Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
