I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize