When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
