Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
