I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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