it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
