I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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