Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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