So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It all started with a game of naked twister.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
