She is in my trunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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