Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
please come you make the beer taste better
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
