i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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