The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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