Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
