We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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