I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
