Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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