He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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