Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
PANTIES FOUND
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