No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Randomize
