The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize