i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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