She announced her abortion via fbk
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize