woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
false alarm. still invincible.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
