I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
