Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
