so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
