You work out of a Hotel?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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