How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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