there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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