i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
