you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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