Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize