I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
