She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
