He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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