Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
